On Losing the Marbles

I see questionnaires all over that ask bloggers why they began blogging. Sometimes the answers are as simple as because it’s fun, and other times there are heavy meanings behind each post.

When I first started this blog, I was unemployed and bored. It gave me something to do for a while, but I quickly became disenchanted with it because it wasn’t helping me accomplish what I needed to accomplish (i.e. finding work). So I gave it up for a while and have only recently tried to post more.

I gave up my personal Facebook page due to increasing drama and negativity that I can neither handle nor want to handle, and that’s the main reason I’ve turned back to my forgotten blog. I strive toward a positive outlook as often as possible, and even when being positive isn’t an option, I am always realistic. Sometimes that does come across as negative, but reality isn’t always sunshine and rainbows.

Like now, for instance. I’ve been up since 2 a.m. with my daughter, nursing her stomach bug. I hate to see her in such a state because I’m powerless to control it. All I can do is wipe her face and reassure her. She’s sleeping now, but I’m keeping vigil.

Just like stomach bugs and their stealthy and sudden approach in the middle of the night (seriously, why do these viruses always seem to attack in the middle of the night?), life can be just as unpredictable and sudden. Sometimes attacking in the thin hours of morning, riding in on a category five hurricane. Other times life passes by so fast that we don’t even have time to stick our heads out the window to taste the air.

We can gather our marbles into our Crown Royal bags and tie the silky string into a dozen knots, but somehow, at some time, the bag inevitably spills, sending those marbles scattering in every direction.

image

And what do we do then– when the marbles are beneath the bed and lodged behind the toilet, some chipped or seemingly disappeared altogether?

We pick them up.

We pick them up because that’s what life is about: perseverance and that gut feeling that things really will be okay, regardless of how they appear in the moment.

And I suppose that’s what blogging is like for me. It’s my attempt to make sense of things, to fit pieces of many different puzzles together. The logic isn’t always clear. The grammar isn’t always at the highest level. The posts may be erratic and seem to blow in from off the charts like a blizzard, or sometimes be as quiet and unassuming as that one hidden marble that you find a year later, lying in a space that you never imagined it could’ve gotten. It’s a journey. A discovery.
And I’ll continue to scout out those marbles. I’d be fibbing if I said I wasn’t still missing a few.

(Image from collectmarbles.com)

Live. Love. Write.

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2 thoughts on “On Losing the Marbles

  1. Oh, beautifully written, Candice; I most thoroughly enjoyed that. We pick up our marbles, no matter how damaged they become, nor how grotesque the corner they rolled into–why? Because we have that gut feeling, we really do. Simply marvelous.

    Like

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